Halloween II
If you’ve read my other post about Halloween, you know that my childhood Halloweens weren’t the happiest of memories for me, with my Mom being hospitalized around that time annually. Since then though, I have been fortunate to have had many fun, positive Halloweens through the eyes of my kids.
One particular Halloween stands out in my mind where we wandered around our Harrison neighborhood hours longer than usual with my child, their two friends and their Mom. It was an unusually warm Halloween night where we happened to find those magic moments that strike you in a way that you know will be etched into your memory for years to come.
We had stopped to look at the details of many life-sized moving figurines in one very well-decorated front yard. Looking closely at all the incredible details of the scary figures, one suddenly turned its head and looked us straight in the eyes. My friend and I screamed and jumped, while our two youngest ran far down the block in terror. We were so jarred by the tall made up, dark eyed male figure, we ran across the street clutching each other’s arms as we hyperventilated. The figure followed us into the middle of the street, pounding his feet into the asphalt, remaining in character threatening us with his axe.
Later, we found ourselves at the end of a cul de sac, watching giant dinosaurs carefreely roaming on scooters. Their giant air-filled puffy costumes moving subtly within the warm breeze. Surreal and magical.
Today’s Halloween has a completely different feel to it, my kids now being 22 and 13. My 22-year-old is dressed like a pirate after teaching pre-school today. My 13-year-old is dressed like a racoon in a plush, puffy onesie.
I find myself sitting in my living room trying to look dignified in a giant onesie plush bear costume that my 13-year-old encouraged me to buy after we were both so pleased with their racoon onesie.
When their friends showed up to start trick or treating, they decided to leave me behind for now to wait for their Dad and brother, and then meet up as a group later.
So here I sit, on my couch in the living room, dressed like a bear, painted black nose and all, talking nervously to my pirate son, when my estranged husband walks in the front door with his key.
He typically avoids face or eye contact with me these days, but I can see him trying to glance at me from the corner of his eyes to fully take in my costume, as he converses with our son.
It can be rather hard to look angry and firm in a dignified manner, as a grown woman dressed in a bear costume. The large over-sized stomach and the puffy ball tail hanging down low behind my butt certainly wasn’t helping.
I found myself glued to my seat, needing to pee as usual, but not wanting to stand up and walk out of the room letting my husband see my full costume and tail on my way out.
I could see him glancing in my direction but trying not to stare. Avoiding eye contact, I stared into my phone watching Insta Reels to keep myself calm and somewhat happy. A “How to handle your toxic ex” video comes up. Oops. Scroll quickly away from that one. Miley Cyrus comes next, singing “The Climb” live. Not a fan and yet the lyrics struck me as poignant to my current life and I found myself watching the excerpt over and over. Eventually, I scroll past to find Chris Martin of course. My comfort music for the past couple years.
Eager to get out of this situation, when my son asks to stay in it longer so he could keep showing pictures of his recent trip to his father, it suddenly occurred to me – this isn’t the minor kid I have to be present for “parenting time” visits. I can leave!
But then I remembered. That oversized bear body onesie. And that puffy tail. How to walk out of a room in dignity like that.
So, I took a deep breath. Stood up leaving quickly to the bathroom, with my head held high despite the bear ears, then walked back through the living room briskly and out the front door to meet my 13 year old, their girlfriend and another friend. Making the best of my limited time alone with the 3 kids, I stole some fun for me.
Eventually, of course, my kid answered a call and told them where to find us.
I kept my distance from my husband as much as possible. When he stepped directly in front of me as he often does, pushing me out to talk over me in conversation, I held my pace until he eventually noticed me and stepped aside.
When I took a group shot of all the kids, my husband offered to take a picture with me in it. I said “No thank you” to which he said, smiling, ”You’re in a costume too.” Darn I’ve been seen. I angrily thought, “Don’t you smile at me.You’ve lost the right to be bemused by me in a bear costume.”
As if this wasn’t enough, my body jumped in on the game and gave me hot flashes. Apparently the hormones of a woman in her 50s are another reason she shouldn’t be dressed in a plush bear onesie in front of her soon to be ex-husband.
